Review of the film “Christmas tree”

They did not miss the KP, because he demolished the old profile, and the new one is not yet 90 days and other problems with the moderators. Well, read, compose. So that it was not so lazily, I have shut the post with shots from this shit.

“I had hope where she is now?” (With)

Every year, on New Year’s days, Timur Bekmambetov dumbfs the country with another, bright, amazingly gorgeous .. a piece of shit and earns on this a huge, by the standards of Russian rental, a lot of money. The joyful faces of the audience seemed so funny to me when leaving the cinema, which was sick and I lay in my own vomiting for another hour and a half: how could I like it at all?

One of those same snowboarders rolled in the steps

Actually, everything is twisted like this: a little girl in the orphanage of Kaliningrad boasts once, that here, her father is the president. This is already wild nonsense and cargo, because that she then forgot in an orphanage? The children immediately understood this and let’s get rid of a wretched idea, and the girl is crying. Fortunately, she had a little friend who had long dreamed of having passionate sex with her, and therefore decided to console her with absolutely moronic theory that all the people in the world are familiar with each other after six handshakes and you just need to call someone, and he will call someone else and the sixth is definitely familiar with the president, yes. At that moment, the girl realized that her little friend is mentally fooled, but in order to console his grief and get hope, not to be beaten in the toilet with her friends for lying a fool-she agrees. At this moment, if you have already reached your popcorn, you drank water, run out of the hall faster with a cry “I am a superm”, because the most idiotic nonsense that I have ever seen begins then.

Of course, I did not expect something to be so cool as Chuck Norris, but … for what I saw, the screenwriter needs to be caught in the plum garden, torture him sixteen thousand days, even put a popular vote about his execution or jighurs, save the jighurd, and the scriptwriter, having previously beaten his shoulders. Alas, this was already done with someone, so I limited myself only to an endless obscenity towards the one who wrote this hell.

The most spiritual face that I saw is lol

The composition of the first -class https://casinosnogamstop.co.uk/review/aztec-paradise/ student Petit Ilyin is “why the script is terrible”:

My youth, no matter how stupid it sounds, I spent in an orphanage. We were constantly tormented, humiliated and constantly told us that “like our money in a bank, like our cars, like our wallets and our clothes – we are only a bunch of stools of life”. Yes, there I really liked it, and the orphanage, shown in the film, is not at all close to reality – everyone is too stupid and kind.

The composition of the police major Ilya Petrov – “Why don’t I like the script”:

“Honestly, I do not think that I would ever wash in our shower of our department. Half of my comrades is sick with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases after those raids at the beginning of the year for brothels, so that would be simply stupid on my part. In addition, I saw the moment when the police, oh, excuse me, I won’t get used to it, the policeman pounces on some kind of gopnik, in each hand of the Makarov pistol. You know, I was always amazed at the stupidity of those two guys from the “deadly weapon”, but it was just stunningly stupid. In addition to the fact that the cop does not care about his family, he is also too kind and stupid, since he releases the gopnik after that, although everyone knows that by our orders, he had to first beat him and take his clothes ”.

The composition of the 43-year-old employee of the nuclear power plant “Why the scenario suck”:

“I have been eight years old, I have made desires on New Year’s Eve and, like a fool, I have been drinking these shitty pieces of paper with champagne, but for some reason still without a husband. This is probably all because I weigh a little more than men want, 170 kilograms, but still, it turns out somehow stupid that some fool, having made an X-ray for the New Year, immediately receives, albeit stupid, but a firefighter, but a firefighter, but a firefighter, but a firefighter. And in general, for an old and fat loser, she is too dumb and kind. “.

We congratulate the three winners of the essays competition on the topic “Why the script suck” and introduce you again Grand Prix, written by the Great Snowboarder Shone White:

“I heard about the famous Russian spirit, which appears after two hundred grams of vodka, taken inside, but a snowboarder, which rides along the steps of a high -rise building, is just incredibly stupid. Moreover, it was removed as if the operator’s mother was not only a four -door monkey, but also the priestess of Ktulhu, so all her children were born, either dead, or with their hands from the ass. In addition, the snowboarder is too kind and stupid, and we, snowboarders, love to kill children in fact “.

In general, the only thing that New Year’s film can cling without special effects and Olivia Wilde in a tight suit is the script. The script in the film, as you understand, is an inexorable shit, which means that he has no chance to please anyone who has not yet turned into a frantic turkey Mel Gibson.

Gibson? And if it laughed, then this is from Saus Park

Perhaps the film could still cling to the atmosphere if we had snow in our city in the city, to take actors from talk shows to the film would not be considered a bad tone at all times, and the film “Surka Day” never released on the screens. That is, what I want to say, everything that today’s New Year’s Entertheims are trying to achieve from the creators of the Black Lightning, has already been reached many times in the best film by Bill Murray 17 years ago.

But, alas, to see the films of Bill Murray in the cinema, you will need to wait for the moment when almost all today’s Russian directors will die in the torment, and it will not be so scary to become infected with brain cancer after watching the New Year’s comedy. It would seem that several murders and, here it is, the Russian cinema of the future.

No, of course – she is beautiful, but to be a fan of her songs, as one of the heroes of the film, you need a lobotomy to transfer five times

And the film 1 out of 10, because Tajik Jimmy is annoying, and all the others are tired

P.S. The children in the film played so terribly that you involuntarily apologize to the fat cow, in which Lucy grew from the “Chronic Narn”.
P.P.S. Another good news: the sequel “Christmas tree 2” goes out exactly to the new one, 2012, and promises to be even worse and dumber.